Getting the weight off our shoulders so we can have a healthier community


 

Wouldn’t it be nice if the two most negative aspects of our community became obsolete, liers & cheaters. As one of the co-moderators of Nubian Knights I’m charged with approving membership. One of the questions asked in the application process is “What is your biggest problem with men?” In the members I have approved 99.9% of them answered “cheating and/or lying” with “trust”being the 2nd most response. Those actions seem to be the most prominent and divisive issues preventing us from having a more cohesive community. I believe if our community truly worked on eliminating them or curtailing the need to lie, cheat and loose the trust so vital to a relationship we have a more healthier community.
 
Although I don’t think it’s realistic to believe men in our community will never lie or cheat on a man they’re dating or in a relationship with, I never thought I see the day when we would have an African-American President of the United States. Men lie for different reasons, for one thing, to get sex without the baggage (having to deal with all that goes into maintaining a relationship). Men lie to cover up their true intention in wanting to date you, to avoid any drama in their partner becoming jealous when nothing is going on and men lie when they’re cheating on their man. Men cheat for several reasons, because they can, they have willing “partners in crime.” Their significant other isn’t satisfying their sexual needs. They can limit themselves to having one sexual partner.
 
Is it realistic to go to the simple solution and say “Just stop lying and cheating” or “Guys just stop making yourselves available for a guy who wants to cheat” and there will be no more or less cheating. Or is a much deeper solution needed than asking guys to just stop?

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