Nubian Knights

Meeting you on the Beaches of the World

Growing Old Alone: The Competition is Fierce! (Part 2 of 2)

So I’ve said when we walk out of our dwelling gay guys are checking us out, and we are automatically competing with other guys.  How we are dressed, the shape our body is in, our grooming, our swagger, hand gestures, stance, the tone of our voice and other body images either puts us in the near the lead of the pack or as viewed as just another lap dog.  Beyond outside appearances we’re competing with our self-confidence, self-esteem, personality and strangely enough our sense of humor.
It is very easy to say once a person gets to know you they can see you’re a nice person or a good person.  However, for now they see you how they see you and if you’re not giving up a vibe of being approachable you won’t be open to being approached.  By the same token if you ignore an approach (by generally accounts) where YOU KNOW he’s checking you out, you may end up with missed opportunities,especially each time you come through some place like Whole Foods. Lol
As some of you know from a few of my postings either here or on Nubian Knights Facebook I've talked about being at Whole Foods here in the ATL (Ponce De Leon) checking out the  eye-candy sometimes with a friend. There are some guys who you know at least 90% or higher are gay/sgl and it’s not always they're wearing it on their sleeves but you know.  When folk look approachable, you stay one step ahead of the competition.  However, you have to be ready, even for a brief hello.
I’ve spoken about one of my friends who was at Whole Foods and an attractive guy initiated a general conversation with him, even offered twice to buy him another helping of something he was already eating. But all that ran through his mind was did he look that bad like he was homeless because the guy wanted to treat him.  By their brief conversation it was obvious he knew my friend wasn't homeless. My friend didn’t get it until later that evening, the guy was just being nice.  He had seen my friend reading a book somewhat intensively causing him to make a comment to my friend.
There’s a guy at Whole Foods who’s there at the same time I am using his laptop as I’m using mine.  I've noticed him looking at me when I come into the  food court area where folk use their laptop.  At times he would be looking towards my direction when I’m getting up to go get something to eat or using the rest room.  He comes across as being approachable and if I was in the market for a man or to make a new friend I would catch him off guard one day (the best timing) and mentioned my seeing him there and make a comment about noticing him working intensely on something (it would be something funny or cute).  I would see where it goes from there.
Of course I’m talking off the top of the cuff now but it would be unplanned, spontaneous.  I wouldn’t be thinking too hard on whether to do it or not, giving that sort of thinking power over me to opt out of saying anything at all.  I realize I’m in competition and if I don’t say anything to him someone else will and they may win.  Right now I would have the advantage over everyone else because no one else is around (at least his attention is on me when I'm there), I can seize the opportunity and approach him.
If you want the odds in your favor of having a man to grow old with you need to take advantage of opportunities you know you should say something to a guy  You don’t ever want to regret not saying something to a guy who’s checking you out.  Making a comedic statement or just being friendly goes a long way, most Men of Color don’t acknowledge each other in just passing, period, you can make any man's day when you do.  Saying something to a guy is not like asking for his hand in marriage, it’s staying ahead of the competition!  Think about it!

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